Dear Bill,
I am writing this letter on behalf of my sanity. Having only
watched The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 last night I was wondering if
you could clear up some questions for me? Firstly why is the title of this
movie so obnoxiously long, no really, couldn’t you have shortened it just a
little bit, maybe taken off the pretentious “The Twilight Saga” part? Secondly
who was responsible for the script? Was the lack of dialogue used to mask the
horrible inadequacies of the cast or did you get a 10 year old to write it?
Since we are on the lines of a 10 year old penning this tale who’s idea was the
twist in the battle field scene? No please tell me, because I swear that’s how
I used to write my way out of a corner in every short story I wrote in English
class when I was 10.
Who did the special effects? Not only are the laughable and
altogether quite poor, you seem to have made some bad calls as to where it
should be used. C.G.I.ed baby, yeah don’t worry that won’t age badly at all.
The fact that it looks past it’s sell by date already is nothing to do with it,
right? Was it really that hard to just get a different baby for each time the
demon spawn grew?
Does Robert Pattinson always have a bad smell under his nose
or is that “acting”? Does Kirsten Stewart have only one emotion and if she
where to try and show a different one she would explode? Why does your makeup artist have a knack for taking
perfectly attractive people and making then look like wig wearing corpses,
something along the lines of Bruce Jenner? Oh and why is there never any blood
or fangs? Really, REALLY??? It’s a movie about vampires, that’s like making a
film with Matthew McConaughey and leaving out the no shirt wearing parts.
Well Mr.Condon you should be ashamed. It was never going to
be an easy task but you seem to have handled it with a heavy hand. Maybe
Catherine Hardwicke had the right idea at the time and got out after her
beautifully shot Twilight but you Bill seem to have stuck around. Oh but your opening
titles were nice, that’s a job done good I suppose.
Regards,
Ciara XXX
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