Lake House for sale, remote location

The Last House on the Left should have made more of a splash in the lake upon its release back in 2009. Its shocking, graphic, horrific yet still entertaining. Not really words that normally go together.

Featuring a cast of relative unknowns (although you will find yourself having to IMDB some of then as to where you recognise their face) The Last House on the Left is a remake of a 1972 film of the same name. Directed and written by the master of horror Wes Craven it tell the story of two girls who get brutally attacked and left for dead by a bunch of criminals. The motley crew end up taking shelter in one of the girls parents house. Slowly through a series of events the parents put two and two together and begin to exact their revenge. Or to say it less delicately the shit hits the fan.

Theres a mind numbing amount of cliches in this remake, from the nymphomaniac, bearded, leather clad villains to the gratuitous breast shot but it still feels fresh somehow. Word of warning though, theres a scene involving the leader of the gang and one of the girls that will make you think "that scene" in Deliverance was an episode of Seasme Street. Get over that and your in for a rollercoaster of a ride. It might not be the Notebook but this film will certainly keep you as entertained.

A nice original plot, a good bit of gore, horrific but not entirely a horror film...if that's not the makings for a rainy Sunday afternoon film I don't know what is!

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Super Violent

Sorry about the brief hiatus there. The Mr.Sheen has been taken out and its been dusted around the reviews. That will teach me for deciding to watch all the Gilmore Girls boxsets back to back, I've been stuck in a world of witty rapport where they condone 15 year olds drinking their body weight in coffee daily.

Anyway back to the movies and stuff....

Deciding what to watch one night I stumbled across a film that made a blip on my radar when it came out in the cinema but I never got around to watching it. Super (2011) starring the pretty gosh darn funny Rainn Wilson and the not so funny, actually kinda annoying but cute as a little button Ellen Paige. When the trailers came out it was billed as an adult Kick Ass. Yes I'm aware that Kick Ass is adult itself but what I mean is that Super was about a man not a teenager wanting to be a super hero. Well thats what the trailers made you believe...

Its an odd one this. It starts out like Kick Ass and then all of a sudden turns into a more graphic Sin City....oh yes it can get more graphic than Sin City. The humour gets lost halfway through and it just becomes series of awkward situations and oh so extreme violence. Theres a little message at the end but to me it all seemed pointless. It felt like that time I was in the cinema and accidentally got sweet popcorn instead of salted, not cool and pretty annoying.

Take note Super, always label correctly!!!
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Chefs recommended dish of the month (September)

Another month another chefs recommended dish. I was torn between a few this time but I had to go for the once that left me shaking, pale and dying for a stiff drink.


Needless to say Buried isn’t the type of film suitable for every occasion (Don’t watch it right before you go out for a night on the town) but when the right occasion comes along it’s a masterpiece. If the plot was made into a rudimentary equation it would look something like this…Ryan Reynolds - the beef cake + a tiny box = Buried. Lets be honest here, Ryan Reynolds isn’t really known for his great acting chops. Go on I dare you to name me two well acted Reynolds films. Personally I’ve always found him in his early stuff to be a B grade Jim Carrey impersonator, and when you love Jim Carrey enough its not ever really a bad thing. All that aside I think Buried is the first film he made that really pushes him as a actor. The concept of an entire film just happening in a rudimentary coffin with one actor on screen seems like it could wear thin very quickly. But it just doesn’t. Reynolds (excuse the terrible pun) pulls one out of the box.He’s believable, likeable and puts the viewer along side him in the claustrophobic space. A high concept film with a pretty dang good actor. Now if he’d just stop prancing around in a CGI skin tight green suit we might have an Oscar contender in a few years.

 

O.K Corral

So the concept has been laughed at. Cowboys fighting aliens, ain’t that just ridiculous, right? Well not really. If we can accept a film set in modern day about an alien invasion, and lets be honest here those films are a dime a dozen, why then is the idea of an alien invasion happening a hundred and ten odd years ago such a hard pill to swallow? In my opinion I think it’s a fresh take on the genre.

The story is a simple enough one to follow, much like the high brow Snakes on a Plane, it does what it says on the tin. So lets spare me from writing about the story set up and I’m just gonna head straight forward into picking this movie apart. I came into viewing this film with high hopes, yes I knew it wasn’t gonna change my life but some of the most entertaining moments in cinema haven’t. I was just looking forward to an action romp. Oh and Harrison Ford + Sam Rockwell +Cowboys + Aliens = a pretty epic movie on paper to me.
The action was good and the fight scenes well choreographed. Ford’s character driven performance was well played if not lacking in screen time. Rockwell, a personal favourite of mine (have you seen the man dance?) appeared to be rocking a James Connolly costume and Daniel Craig, for once, wasn’t annoying.

The aliens like all new sci-fi’s seemed to be lacking in any originality. I might as well have been watching Cloverfield or Super 8. Oh and there’s a mild twist about three quarters of the way in that just seems a little too stupid. I’d liken the watching of this movie to chewing gum, it’s refreshing and entertaining but in the end it won’t satisfy your appetite, you’ll be left wanting something more substantial.

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Insert monkey based pun

After the shambles of Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes you would think that no one would want to touch off the franchise with a barge pole, but no, Rupert Wyatt has made a prequel to the much referenced and satired story.
It was always going to be slightly laughable but in an interesting shift in the production Wyatt has decided to go the CGI route for the apes as opposed to the traditional “man in a monkey suit” style of its predecessors.
I’m normally one to champion the old school methods (we all know puppet Yoda was waaaaaay better than his CGI counterpart) so I was slightly wary of how realistic these primates were going to look. But my Gawd, were they good. It helped lend a certain realism to the film that it's older relatives have been found lacking in. Although the audience did erupt in laughter when an ape began talking, it took away the cringe factor of the older films.

The primates aside the story is quite good, enough to keep you entertained for its running time. Little touches like the mention of a lost mission to mars help tie in the original and are subtly done. Franco is easy on the eyes too, if not a little wasted here. Oh and who was the casting director for this movie? Franco as a scientist? Really? Something I would never have put together, sure I know he went to Harvard or Yale or somewhere and he even wrote that knock off Catcher in the Rye book but seriously, a scientist?? His stoner voice and dopy eyes did not lend well to the role. Screw not believing apes were about to take over the world what about Franco being a scientist?

Okay so rant over. This film is entertaining, an enjoyable watch that answers all the curious questions we had about this “Planet of the Apes” origins. Tim Burton take note, this is how to pull it off.


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Throw-aways

Based on the true life story of the band of the same name, The Runaways is about the life and times of Joan Jett, Cherie Currie and co and their ascent into the music scene. Billed as “The story of the most influential rock band you never heard of” its gritty, glossy, glittery and grungy all rolled into one.


It’s a great subject matter for a film and I’m surprised its taken this long for a movie about The Runaways to come out. They did after all help blaze the trail for females in alternative music. The story of five very (and I mean 15 here) young girls getting manufactured into a sex driven, jail bait rock band set up is a truly interesting one. Their descent into a life of drink and drugs at such a young age is compelling viewing. Girls trying to find themselves among the wreckage of a seedy bar floor.

Overall it’s a decent watch but once you’ve seen one of these types of films you’ve seen em all. Kristen “why do I have to be here?” Stewart plays Jett pretty well, although it was more of a haircut than an acting performance. The same could be said for Dakota Fanning but she seems to have a bit more of a leading lady foothold playing Currie, a conflicted, 15 year old drug addict. They have some great chemistry together but this film never really lifts off the ground. Fau- seat filling lesbianism aside it starts off with all the promise of a really interesting biopic but loses its footing somewhere round the 50 minute mark, turning into one long music video about the perils of drugs and having a good time.
A good enough film but take away the music and it just feels like your watching a group of young girls playing dress up for 106 minutes. Sparkly and seedy but not very original.

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Soooooper Great

What’s that coming over the hill? Oh wait its just another J.J Abrams monster movie loaded with mystery. And to be honest , its something he has had a lot of practice at over the years. Where Super 8 differs from Cloverfield is that it works quite well.

Set in 1970’s America Super 8 tells the story of a group of thirteen year olds making a zombie movie. While out on a night time shoot they witness a train crash. But something is wrong, the cargo of the train is guarded with high secrecy and slowly the plot unfolds to reveal that what was on the train has gotten out and isn’t too happy. Like Cloverfield, Super 8’s main draw to get people into the seats has been a promotional run drenched in mystery. What’s on the train? What does it want? Effective yes, but the problem arises when the inevitable reveal comes somewhere round the hour mark. With these films it will never live up to the viewers expectation. But within saying this Abrams has developed as a director and kept, for the most part, the film about the characters. Its tried and tested, but if you don’t make the audience care about the characters they just won’t care about the film. Spielberg is attached as producer and the films does have a very Goonies feel about it. Which isn’t a bad thing but its been done, and been done better.

Still it’s a good movie, verging on great. (If it wasn’t for those obnoxious and altogether pointless lens flares every five seconds.) It tends to get a little too E.T. esque towards the end and loses its humour somewhere in the middle but the cast are great (It’s even got that little Arian boy from 7^th Heaven all grow-ed up, don’t pretend that you don’t know which one I’m talking about .) , the script is good and the nostalgic feel to it makes it a damn good watch in my opinion. Life changing no, but what do you want on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and lets face it, those are the movies you’ll always come back too.

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New York, I like you

Following in the footsteps of Paris, Je T'aime, New York I love you is a collection of shorts built around the infamous city. Beautifully shot and with a cast list that looks like the seating arrangements for the golden globes its worth a gander.

Like with all collections of shorts some work better than others. I NEVER thought I’d say this but Bradley Cooper’s story seemed to resonate the most. Yeah that’s right, I’ve said it. And hell has just installed an ice rink. Normally the dud in any equation his character’s segments had the most originality, honesty and was beautifully edited. Featuring Drea De Matteo and directed by Allen Hughes, it tells an overdone story with a refreshing take. Other highlights include a funny little story about a boy going to prom, a stunningly shot piece about a retired singer checking in to a hotel and a match.com ad with Orlando Bloom and Christina Ricci.

The minuses though…Hayden Chrsitensen is still touting around that Bob Dylan voice from Factory Girl, Rachel Bilson showcases her ability to change wigs and Shia La Boeuf could never play an eastern European. People who need their cinema packaged in a nice little box tied up in bow, won’t like this. The stories stop and start, end and cross over. It gives you the feeling of walking down the street hearing segments of other peoples conversations. It’s a lot less structured than Paris Je T'aime and for that reason it might not be as accessible to some people. But apart from that this film plays beautifully.

There are some genuinely touching moments although it would have been helped from a bit more cultural diversity, after all as someone states in the film : “That’s one of the things I love best about New York. Everyone came from somewhere else.”But still, this film is an exercise in good and bad, triumphs and failures. But its worth sifting through the silt just to get that bit of gold. Watch this movie and I guarantee you next time your in town, you’ll pay a little bit more attention to the people around. There could just be an amazing story unfolding right before your eyes.

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Chefs recommended dish of the month (August)

So we have all been there, trying to get your significant other or friend of the opposite gender to try to watch a film with you that has your latest object of desire in it. They just won’t do it, or if they do they will begrudge your choice for the entire running time, claiming that you only wanted to see it because Ryan Reynolds gets his tits out. On certain occasions this is true (lets face it Reynolds has only made a handful of good movies) but with Chefs recommended dish of the month they have no excuse. Bringing you the beautiful people from the silver screen in roles that are acted brilliantly the term “just a pretty face” will no longer apply...

River Phoenix in My Own Private Idaho

In My Own Private Idaho River Phoenix plays a narcoleptic rent boy in search of his long lost mother.
His portrayal is profoundly beautiful and deeply honest. He tackles such a challenging subject with grace, realism and raw emotion. Watching this movie you can’t help but feel sad for the fact Phoenix is no longer with us. Taking a drug overdose at the age of twenty three (only one year after making this film), his best work was probably yet to come. But still, he left this world with a performance that would have done any actor proud.


Within saying this, this film isn’t purrrrrfect. Keanu Reeves seems horribly awkward throughout the movie and the story just seems to lose momentum and trail off at the end. But for Phoenix’s acting chops it’s a home run for me.

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Horribly Funny

Its crude, lewd and has a dirtier mouth than a sailor’s but Horrible Bosses just seems to work. Starring Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day this comedy is a good shoulders above some of its contemporises.


The premise like all good comedies is simple, three friends decide to kill their “horrible bosses” and of course hilarity ensues, much to the help of the chemistry between the three leads. Playing off each other Bateman, Sudeikis and Day adlib their way to some comedy gold. Although within saying this, this film is not without its flaws. Firstly some of the humour is a little too crude, a little too stupid. On a scale of zero to Van Wilder its only about a 4 but the viewer can’t help but feel the boys talents are wasted in certain parts. These are comedians who have made their names with acclaimed shows like Arrested Development and Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia, known for its witty banter and sharp dialogue. They seem have resorted to shoving bathroom essentials up their rectums, funny yes but groundbreaking and original no.


Also Jennifer “I’m trying to not get type cast (but am failing)” Aniston just ain’t funny. Sure she’s looking damn good for her age, unlike a certain Cameron Diaz whose most recent films has made me believe she has contracted an illness which has caused her face to begin melting off, but her comedy skills just left me feeling awkward. Like when your Nan says something really racist at Sunday dinner.


All that aside its worth a watch. Day (like always) steals the best lines. Bateman plays his much perfected straight man well. And Sudeikis hits somewhere in the middle. A great little comedy that hopefully won’t get over shadowed in the box office this summer by Bridesmaids. These men need to be in more films.


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A Brief Introduction....

Where to start really? There is no non awkward way to start something like a blog. If only I was smart or witty I’m sure I could find something to say that would be okay but I spent most of my formative years watching movies so…


Film Fry-up is gonna try to delve into the world of all things movie based. From gossip to new releases to top fives to Robert Pattinson’s new haircut. Without bias of course and just maybe a hint of humour.

Hope you (yes you, the one person who is reading this because I probably begged them to) enjoy.

xxx